Oh. My. Effing. GOD.

Today has officially been the shittest day I've had so far. I had 1772 CALORIES! WHAT THE FUCK? I knew period binges were bad but seriously?!! Ughhhhh...
Most of that came from the fucking pizza Danny's mum made for me... I gave him a piece of mine, but I couldn't offload any more, and she was just staring at me while I ate it... I feel disgusting. I'm staying up till everyone goes to bed so I can exercise some of it off... I feel so horrible, I mean I know i burn most of that in a day just being alive, but I still feel like today is going to turn me into a whale... Its my own fault and I can't blame anyone else, its my hand and my mouth. I need to grow up and realise I'm gonna fuck it all up sometimes, but I seriously can't stand myself right now... I'm not going to ruin my day any further by eating any more, I'm just going to look at thinspo and do crunches till people go to bed then I'll go on zumba for a few hours..

Don't be weak like me! :(

My rant on Alive For Ana towards Anti-Ana/Mias.

Okay so I posted a comment to all the hateful AntiAna/Mias on Alive For Ana, another blog. After reading it to myself I decided it might be good for you all to see it too! :)

"No offence is meant to anyone when I say this, but in most cases (NOT ALL.) These websites don't make eating disorders worse. Most of the tips are generally well known or wouldn't work for people who stumble upon sites such as this, because everyone's body is different. I've been anorexic for the past 3 years (Not including a recovery period) and I've become less self-concious and more comfortable with myself since finding these websites 8 months ago. in fact websites like this one gave me the confidence to start my own. We do not condone 'Wannarexia' or the bulimic equivelent, we simply want to reach out to those like us, share methods and see what makes us feel better about ourselves. These websites aren't primarily about the eating disorder. They are about the person behind. You can tell a lot from a person by the way their eating is disordered. The ones who fast for days on end but outwardly seem fine are the strong ones, the ones who believe in themselves and want to prove themselves to the world. The ones who restrict as much as they can, but snap are the scared ones. They are scared of becoming the humongous monster they believe they are. The ones who binge and purge are the weak-willed. They slip, or can't control themselves and need to find some way of righting the wrong. 
Don't judge us. Pro-ED is not promotion towards ED, its pro-activity in the disordered community, its about feeling accepted by others in the same boat."

That is what I believe about my blog at least. I do not promote Ana, I simply act within the community to reach out to those who feel alone, lost, misunderstood etc. I do not believe anyone with a ProAna/Mia blog or website should be treated in the way one commenter was treating a struggling Mia girl: "YOU CANT PURGE WITH YOUR FINGERS????? HELP ME??? YOU NEED FUCKING HELP!!!! YOU ARE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF YOU UNDERSTAND? HOW OLD ARE YOU TO WRITE THAT FUCKING PHRASE?" I found this disgusting to be honest. Yes okay, we are sick, there's no denying that. But we help one another to feel better about ourselves, and the girl just wanted advice because she was obviously having a tough time. There is no need for comments like this to make people feel worse.

I am going to add recovery links to my page as soon as I get the chance, purely because I know some of you may feel you are ready enough to make the road to recovery. I will warn you, it is so difficult. But if you are ready you will make it. I'm not ready and therefore I will stay and continue until I feel I am.

Ughhhhh.

Major binge-out on carbs today... horrible. I had sweets for breakfast (WTF.) then a DOORSTEP loaf ham sandwich for dinner. then spaghetti carbonara for tea. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!!! God Lozzii, you utter fuckup. I can't purge very well, so I'm just going to try better tomorrow, because i really don't feel well enough to exercise(The joys of immmense period pains.) and its also half past midnight...

Not this week...

ugh. So my holidays have just started. so has my period. great. gave up the no carb diet for now since i'm going to need the carbs for now,  i just feel like crap right now. I can't wait for this all to stop. I hate periods, period. it makes me feel disgusting. thankfully I can just hide away and sleep until its over...
Stay strong girls xxx

Blog Creepers...

Okay, not in reference to any of you lovely ladies, but some people on here seriously weird me out. I just had to delete 4 comments, all on one post, asking me to buy viagra!! Erm, if you actually read any of the blog you say I'm "Experienced in the field of" you'd realise I'm female and have no need for viagra. Some creepers have no brain!
However, as long as I don't get any more comments about viagra, then by all means creep away - its a free internet!

Updates seem to be getting further between... Pictures!

I'm so sorry that I've not updated in so long, I feel dreadful. But I have good reason - I feel too ashamed to face you all. I have been on a strict low-carb diet for the past week and a half and have seen no results. with a net worth calorie range of 50-300 each day, I've GAINED a kilo. WHAT. THE. HELL!! I'm so sick of my body being so backwards!

I'm currently keeping my carb intake below 20g each day in the hopes that I'll be able to go into ketosis. I've figured a simple way of doing this. Egg whites. I love meat, and scrambled egg whites tastes like chicken (Well I suppose they are baby chickens...) and when microwaved, 2 egg whites (34 calories) can produce half a cup of filling yumminess! Hopefully I've just gained water weight because I haven't drank that much lately. I went 2 days without drinking at all because I just felt ILL. Boy did I pay for that!

I bitched about overhydration, well I'd prefer that to dehydration any day! My head felt like a ton of bricks!!!

Anyway, my net worth of calories today was 56, with 2 helpings of scrambled egg whites, a bit of chocolate (damn RE teacher) and 3 chewing gums. I countered this with my usual walking, standing and jogging.

Yay me :)

Stomach, getting flatter :)

Sides getting smoother

Ribs getting pointier (bad lighting sorry)

Actual thigh gap!

Stay Strong

Think Thin 

Be Beautiful

x

Apologies!

Guys I am so sorry I haven't updated for ages, I've just been so run down with school work, its just exhausting. I had a particularly bad day today and went on my myfitnesspal to cheer myself up, and my god! You guys, you never seem to announce your existence in anything other than views, and I has at least ten people added me, saying they found me from this blog! You have no idea how happy you all made me feel tonight, and I promise I'll start doing my fitness pal again tomorrow, just so you can all see how I manage.
Don't forget, you can comment on any of my posts with just a name, or as anonymous, I will always reply! Ask me your questions, or email me a request!
My email address is lozziirawrr@hotmail.co.uk so if you have any questions you don't want to put on the blog, or want to ask me for a post on a specific subject, feel free!
I love you all so much.
I'm here for you <3
Stay Strong
Think Thin
Be Beautiful x

Tips on: Eating less at family meals

Hi guys, hope you are all doing well!!
This time I have tips on how to disguise the fact you aren't eating much at family meals, this may include eating at home, or going out to a restraunt!

1. Eat each mouthful for 20-30 seconds
2. Cut your food up before you eat it
3. Eat smaller mouthfuls
4. Fill up on your water/diet soda between bites
5. Get a diet soda, drink between bites, and blame an 'iffy stomach' on the bubbles
6. If you have mashed potatoes, hide the food you don't want under them
7. If you're a smoker, go out for a cigarette halfway through your meal - you'll come back and everyone will be ahead of you with their meals
8. If you're eating out, ask anyone if they want another drink - burn those calories!
9. Make a trip to the loo
10. Talk with your mouth full (disgusting I know) it will make people assume you really like the food
11. Don't touch the potatoes! unless they are boiled with skin, its unneccesary calories. Also don't get butter on them.
12. Fill up on veggies!
13. Decline dessert - you're full. You don't need it.
14. Put your fork down between bites
15. Comment on how much you love the food!

I hope these helped you all!

Stay Strong
Think Thin
Be Beautiful
x

Sort of collarbones...

This is me, obviously, and here are my sort-of collarbones! I'm rather happy that I've come this far, since this is the first time I've properly been able to see them at all, even if it's only slight, its still an achievement! I will reward myself tomorrow afternoon by treating myself to a new E-lite cigarrette, since I've lost mine, and a new top :)
I'm not a dog and shall not be rewarded with food.

My shit weekend, and tips

This weekend has been so terrible.
I AM DISGUSTING. I had food made for me all weekend and I was too nice to turn it down.. I ate half of each meal, three times a day. that adds up to a 3000 Calorie weekend, at least! And I've been so tired I barely had time to exercise too.. I haven't put any weight on (Thank God!) but I still feel horrible and disgusting, I purged for the first time this weekend too. It's so horrible and I never want to have to do it again. I'm going to refuse food from anyone everywhere from now on, no matter who it is.
I have about 600 unused calories, since over the weekend I'll have only burned about 2400 because I did no  exercise other than standing, walking and living.

However as I type this I'm doing sit ups, so hopefully I'll burn some of it...

This week I plan on being in ketosis for at least four days. That's a 7 day carb-cut. It's gonna be tough but I need to do it. Ana give me strength...

Anyway, tips!

To tone inner thigh muscles, lie on your back and put your legs straight up in the air. Separate and rejoin your legs repeatedly, but slowly.

1000 star jumps a day is the same as losing an extra lb a week

Stevia is sweeter than sugar and has no Calories

Smoking will only buy you time to think of an alternative, you will feel even more hungry later!

Stand wherever possible - it can burn 80-100 Calories an hour!

Tap your fingers, swing your legs and shuffle restlessly when you are sat - constant movement = constant Calorie burning!

I love you all.
Please,
Stay Strong
Think Thin
Be Beautiful x

work out your bmr!

BMR, aka your Basal Metabolic Rate is how many calories your body burns just being alive, in each day. Ideally you should aim to eat around half of your BMR, or less if you feel you can, so that the other half can come from weight you already have.

To work out an average BMR for yourself that is a rough estimate, find your weight in kilos, and multiply by 24. For example, I am 60 kilos, and 60 x 24 = 1440, so I aim to eat 700 or less calories each day. This seems like a lot, but remember that everyone has slip ups so its nice to have a higher 'Ultimate High End' of a calorie intake range to make you feel better when you need it.

Failure..

You know my soup week??? Yeah. 3 days in and I fucked it up MAJOR.
Stuck to it, until tea time. Spaghetti, prawns, ice cream and chocolate cake. And by the time I was alone it was too late to purge it all. Fuck.
Thank god for sex... I felt a bit better after working up a sweat in a fun way, then went for a run with Danny, fasting tomorrow though. I can't believe I'm so weak.

Overhydration Is Not Pleasant!

Before PE today I drank a small bottle of water, since i usually sweat a lot and didn't want to become dehydrated. Bad Idea.

I became the opposite of dehydrated, and it was terrible!!!

I felt like my stomach was going to explode, not because it was full of water but because it hurt so bad! I decided to just suck it up and go on the elliptical, and after 20 minutes of pure sweating I felt better, but I'd never want to do it again!!

Calories eaten:239
half can of celery soup: 150 Calories
extra diluted stilton and brocolli cup-a-soup: 89 Calories

Calories burned:383
Eliptical: 200 Calories
walking/standing: approx 100 Calories
Stepping treadmill: 48 Calories
Star jumps: 20 Calories
Sit ups: 15 Calories

Total: -144

Muscle Pain...

Ugh. I am so weak... only this time not towards food: Physically weak. I did a lot of leg exercises yesterday, and today I can hardly move my legs without really bad pain in my front upper thighs! It's horrible!
I'm gonna stick to cardio I think...
Going on a one week liquids diet starting from tomorrow, up until sunday. Its only starting tomorrow because I did a 400 calorie day today and like to start week long things on a monday.

Stay Strong
Think Thin
Be Beautiful x

A little bit about me...?

This is me. Lozzii the maniac, 135lb and counting, 15 years old, 30 inch waist, 10 inch neck, 33 inch hips, 32 inch chest.

Those number are toooooo fucking huge...?

And this is Daniel, my pride and joy :) Reliever of many stresses ;) He's actually watching me type this so i must be nice this time....Just kidding, I'm always nice... ish..
118lb, 5'10 and perfect<3
Also my inspiration....Thinspiration to be precise :P

Love you all!!!

Beginning of month five

Couldn't be bothered taking all the usual pictures, but you can tell the difference since the start, especially since the start of this blog!! my stomach is now almost completely flat when lying down or standing up (Still need to work on the sitting) and my ribcages are showing, not individual ribs yet, but getting close! You can see my hipbones a little bit too...

Bring on month 5, Ana I will make you proud <3

Stay Strong
Think Thin
Be Beautiful
x
I love you all<3