So i checked in on the blog that stupid and pathetic 14 year old me started. 50,000 views.. I don't know whether to be overjoyed or disappointed that what started as a fucking PRO ANA blog got that much attention... Seriously what the fuck was I thinking?!
It's too late to go back now.
But yeah. I'm alive, just.
Formally diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and guess what? Bulimia.
Yep.
Not anorexic. Not even ednos. Full on bulimic. That's what can happen in the space of a few years.
Don't get me wrong I've always had food and body issues, but I feel like sites like this, like my own, made things worse. My hair is falling out, my nails are chipped, my teeth look disgusting.. I bruise like a peach, I'm too tired to do anything. I knew it would happen and I guess I wanted it to. I still want to waste away into nothing. And if you do what I did, you will too.
Please. If it's not too late for you to get out, do it. Shut the page, go hang out with friends and share a pizza or something. Life is meant for living, not just existing like I am..
For those of you who want to follow me, as this blog will hereafter be inactive:
follow me on tumblr: www.notamomentspeace.tumblr.com
Follow me on instagram: givemeaminute
Send me questions on ask.fm: www.ask.fm/lozziimahon
I'm sorry if I have helped anyone hurt themselves. I'm sorry if I've dragged anyone down with me. I shouldn't have been so naive. I'm sorry.
Hey, nobody is perfect in this world. Do not apologize for the mistakes you have made, you have recovered and now, when you are ready, you may help others to recover as well. EDs are a mental illness, like any other mental illness, and you can't always overcome the obstacles that your own mind is putting in the way of your recovery. So hang in there, and keep fighting your way to better health. I wish you well, and if you ever got shitty comments from Shannon at Fierce Fatties, know that it wasn't me. Many of our people are ED survivors and I would never judge people for the path they choose.
ReplyDeletePeace,
Shannon
Good luck in recovery
ReplyDelete